IBD and Mental Health: Living With Crohn's or Colitis
Worry, low mood and isolation are common with Crohn's and ulcerative colitis. What people describe, what helps day to day, and how to tell your care team.
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If you’re in crisis or thinking about harming yourself: in the US, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Lifeline, or call 911. Outside the US, contact your local emergency services.
Living with Crohn’s or ulcerative colitis isn’t only physical. Many people with IBD also deal with worry, low mood, loneliness or simply being worn down by a condition that doesn’t go away. The Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation puts it plainly: it is normal to feel sad and anxious as you live with IBD.
If that’s you, you’re not doing anything wrong, and you don’t have to handle it alone. Your mental health is a fair thing to bring up with your care team, the same as anything else. This guide covers the feelings people commonly describe, small things many people find helpful day to day, what to say to your care team, and when to reach out for help right away.
Is it normal to feel anxious or low with IBD?
Yes, it’s common. The Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation says many people living with IBD may experience depression and anxiety, and it encourages people to care for their emotional health alongside their physical health.
The Foundation also says that while some people have passing bouts of sadness or stress, it’s important to see a mental health professional if those feelings last for several weeks or more. You don’t need to figure out what you’re feeling or give it a name first. “I haven’t felt like myself” is enough to start a conversation.
Feelings people with Crohn’s and colitis often describe
There’s no right way to feel about a chronic condition. These are some of the feelings people talk about most. You might recognize a few, all of them, or none.
Worry about bathrooms
Where’s the nearest restroom? Will there be a line? What if I don’t make it? For a lot of people, this worry shapes the whole day: which route to take, which seat to pick, whether to go at all. It can be tiring to carry, even on good days. Our guide to finding a bathroom fast covers the practical side.
Feeling isolated
Cancelling plans, leaving early, or skipping things altogether can slowly shrink your world. IBD is often invisible, so people around you may not realize how much you’re managing. It can feel lonely to look fine while you’re having a hard time.
Worn down by a condition that doesn’t go away
A chronic condition asks a lot: appointments, tests, paperwork, insurance calls, planning around your gut. Many people describe a deep tiredness that isn’t only physical. It’s the weight of never quite getting a day off from your own health.
Grief
It’s okay to grieve the life you expected, or the way things were before. People describe grief over missed events, changed plans, a body that feels less predictable, or simply not getting to be carefree. Grief can come and go, and it can show up years after you were first told you have IBD.
Feeling like a burden
Many people worry about asking too much of partners, family, friends or coworkers. Needing help can feel uncomfortable. It’s worth remembering that the people who care about you often want to help, and that letting them is part of a two-way relationship.
If feeling like a burden ever turns into thinking others would be better off without you, please treat that as a reason to reach out now. The crisis contacts are at the top and bottom of this page.
Frustration, anger and embarrassment
Feeling angry that this happened to you, frustrated when plans fall through, or embarrassed about bathroom talk are all very human reactions. You don’t have to feel positive about it.
What do people find helpful day to day?
None of these are treatments, and none will fix how you feel. They’re everyday things some people find make life a bit lighter. Take what fits and skip the rest.
Talking to someone
Some people find that saying things out loud to one person they trust takes some of the weight off. That might be a partner, a friend, a family member, or someone outside your usual circle. You don’t need to share everything. Something like “IBD has been getting to me lately” opens the door.
Connecting with people who get it
Talking with people who also live with Crohn’s or colitis can feel different, because you don’t have to explain. The Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation offers a few ways to connect:
- Support groups for adults, young adults, parents and caregivers, kids and teens, and communities such as women, LGBTQIA+ people, Black and African American people, Hispanic and Latino people, and people with a J-pouch or ostomy. The Foundation also lists national virtual resources, and you can search by state or community on the Foundation’s Find a Support Group page.
- Power of Two, a peer mentoring program that matches you with a trained volunteer who has a personal connection to IBD. The Foundation is clear that it isn’t medical advice or mental health services.
- The IBD Help Center, where Information Specialists answer questions by phone at 1-888-MY-GUT-PAIN, by email or by online chat. It’s an information line, not a crisis line.
Keeping some routine
When your health is unpredictable, some people like a few small fixed points in the day. A regular wake-up time, a short walk, a call with a friend on the same evening each week. Keep it small and flexible, so a rough day doesn’t feel like failing. For more on daily rhythm, see Beyond Food: Stress, Sleep and Routine With IBD.
Giving yourself permission to rest
Resting isn’t lazy, and saying no isn’t letting people down. Some people decide ahead of time that it’s okay to cancel, leave early, or take a quiet day. You’re allowed to do less when you need to.
Breaking things into smaller pieces
When everything feels like too much, a long to-do list can make it worse. Some people pick one or two things for the day and let the rest wait. Some find big decisions feel easier on a steadier week.
Letting people know what helps
Friends and family often don’t know what to do. You can tell them: “Texting me works better than calling,” or “If I cancel, it’s not about you.” A small, specific ask is easier to say yes to. If they want to read more, How to Support Someone With Crohn’s or Colitis is written for them.
How to bring up mental health with your care team
The Foundation says it’s very important to address the emotional impact of IBD with your doctor. Your care team can talk it through with you and may be able to point you to support.
It can still feel awkward to bring up. Appointments are short, and it’s easy to stick to bowel talk. A few words prepared in advance make it easier.
Things you could say
You can use these word for word, or change them to sound like you:
- “Can we talk about how I’ve been feeling, not just my gut?”
- “I’ve been feeling low and worried most days for the last few weeks.”
- “IBD is wearing me down, and I’m not sure where to get support.”
- “I’ve been avoiding going out because I’m anxious about bathrooms.”
- “I’d like to talk to someone about how I’m coping. Can you point me to anyone?”
- “This is hard for me to say, so I wrote it down.”
Before the appointment
- Write it down. A sentence or two on how you’ve been feeling, and for how long.
- Send it ahead if that’s easier. The Foundation suggests that if emotional questions are hard to raise in clinic, you can send them through your patient portal or by email before the appointment.
- Put it near the top of your list, so it doesn’t get squeezed out at the end.
- Bring someone if it helps. A relative or friend can help you remember what was said.
During and after
- Ask questions until you understand what’s being suggested.
- Ask for anything in writing: names, phone numbers, websites.
- If you’re given a referral and have trouble booking it, it’s fine to contact your care team’s office again.
For more on preparing for appointments, see Questions Worth Asking Your Care Team, or print our care team questions sheet. If you were diagnosed recently, Just Diagnosed With Crohn’s or Colitis? covers the first weeks.
When to get help now
Some moments can’t wait for the next appointment. Reach out right away if:
- You’re thinking about harming yourself or ending your life.
- You feel you might not be able to keep yourself safe.
- You’re worried about someone else’s safety.
In the US, you can call or text 988 to reach the 988 Lifeline. The Lifeline says it’s free, confidential and available 24/7, and it also offers online chat. You can also call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. Outside the US, contact your local emergency services.
If things aren’t at that point but you’re struggling more than usual, it’s still worth contacting your care team sooner rather than waiting. You don’t have to wait until it feels bad enough.
How Flarely helps
Flarely is a place to log your days, not a mental health tool. If it’s useful, you can log stress in one tap on a 1 to 10 scale alongside your BMs and meals, and look back at it in the Summary tab over 7, 30 or 90 days.
There’s also a “Questions I want to ask” note in the Reports tab, so you can jot down the thing you want to raise, like how you’ve been feeling, before you forget. If you’d like, the 30-day summary PDF can be shared with your care team or anyone you trust.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to feel anxious or depressed with Crohn’s or colitis?
You’re not alone. The Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation says many people living with IBD may experience depression and anxiety, and that it’s normal to feel sad and anxious at times. If those feelings last for weeks, it’s worth raising with your care team or a mental health professional.
How do I bring up mental health with my care team?
Keep it simple: “I’ve been feeling low and worried a lot lately, and I’d like to talk about that too.” If it’s hard to say in the room, send a message through your patient portal before the appointment so it’s already on the list.
Where can I find an IBD support group?
The Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation runs support groups for adults, young adults, parents and caregivers, teens and other communities, including virtual groups. You can search on the Foundation’s Find a Support Group page.
What should I do if I’m in crisis?
If you’re in the US, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Lifeline, or call 911. Outside the US, contact your local emergency services.
If you’re in crisis or thinking about harming yourself: in the US, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Lifeline, or call 911. Outside the US, contact your local emergency services.
Flarely is for your own wellbeing. This guide isn’t medical advice. For medical questions, talk with your care team.